How Social Media Reels are Redefining Relationships

July 9, 2025 Leave a comment

Social media has evolved over the last decade and more so during and post COVID-19 from a casual means of communication to a complex social ecosystem where relationships are not only maintained but also publicly measured, performed, and often misunderstood. The act of tagging someone in a post or sending a reel now frequently carries more weight than the content itself and appears to be a new language of intimacy, loyalty, and belonging.

Human relationships were always forged and maintained through physical presence, shared experiences, and mutual conversation. While those elements still hold value, social media platforms like Instagram, WhatsApp, and Facebook have changed social interaction. Friendship seems to have become ‘performative’ and is now getting increasingly defined by our digital gestures, who we tag, send content to, and frequently react to on social media. The exchange of DMs, reels, memes, and story replies may seem petty, but they have become the new currency of connection. In this new digital age, being remembered in someone’s “share” list is a modern affirmation of your place in their emotional world where time is divided and attention is commodified. It’s no longer the maturity of the friendship built over years defining the strength of the connection, this new phenomenon has been affecting and afflicting across all age groups from teens to people in their 70s!

What used to be simple rules for friendship, like coffee, conversations, and sharing silly jokes over text, has now changed. Friendship is now measured in direct messages, tags, and who receives the meme first. It’s no longer just about being included; it’s about being the first and only one included. Because nothing says “you matter to me” like a cat video at 3 AM. Social media platforms promote visibility and engagement. As a result, users develop interaction patterns that reflect this trend. Relationships are increasingly maintained through small interactions: likes, reactions, emojis, replies, and short content exchanges. These replace deeper communication, creating the illusion of closeness without needing much time or vulnerability.

Algorithmic affection is growing. If you engage often with someone’s content, they will show up more in your feed, and vice versa. This strengthens some relationships while quietly undermining others. Sometimes, a drop in communication doesn’t stem from emotional distance but rather because an algorithm has quietly removed someone from your digital view. Social media has turned even the smallest actions into emotional signals that are often unintentional. Reels are like modern-day carrier pigeons of affection, flying through algorithmic skies and delivering 60 seconds of inside jokes, shared interests, or passive-aggressive messages.

A subtle but clear hierarchy has formed in social groups based on digital content. Who sees the funny video first? Who is tagged in the inside joke? Who gets included in close friends’ stories? These digital hierarchies provide new social cues about belonging, preference, and even exclusion. This change creates anxiety and social tension, particularly for those who often read omissions or changes in online behaviour as signs of personal problems. We’ve all experienced this. You’re casually scrolling through the group chat, dodging memes and unwanted life updates, when you notice that your friend has been sending reels, but not to you. Instead, they are sending them to someone else in your friend circle. Betrayal has never looked so clear.

With constant connectivity and “always on” friendships comes an unintended consequence: relational burnout. There was a time when friendships were tested by forgotten birthdays. Now, deep emotional hurt comes from not being tagged in a reel or story about something entirely unrelated. The pressure to respond quickly, stay updated, and keep up with every friend’s online persona can drain the joy of connection. Friendship, once based on depth, now often depends on speed and consistency, two measures that reflect platforms more than people. This urgency leads to miscommunication. A late reply, a missed tag, or a seen-but-not-responded reel can be seen as disinterest or rejection, even if the reason is trivial. As a result, friendships suffer not from real conflict but from imagined slights born from the overly sensitive nature of digital interaction.

Soon, new measures of connection and relationships will emerge, and platforms will introduce new tools to assess your FQ (Friendship Quotient). Measure these three indicators, and you’ll have your FQ. Like quarterly or annual performance reviews at school, these FQ levels will shape the future of friendship.

Quality of friendship = (number of reels received × frequency of tags) / number of mutual story reacts. 

Closeness coefficient = number of times you get the reel before it appears on your public feed/total reels posted. 

Emotional intimacy level = number of times and frequency they send you the reel with “this reminded me of you” instead of a lifeless emoji.

Despite the challenges, social media offers new ways to show care and share thoughts. A well-timed meme or relevant reel can bring laughter, validation, and a shared moment of joy across distances. In an increasingly busy and scattered world, these exchanges can be lifelines.

But, like all technologies, mindful use is essential. As we adjust to this new relational landscape, we should consider, 

– Are we truly connecting, or just maintaining a facade of connection?

– Are we sharing to include others, or to show how close we are? 

– Are we interpreting digital silence too severely, or using it too carelessly?

In the end, while the medium has changed, the need for empathy, intention, and presence remains the same. Whether through reels, texts, or face-to-face conversations, what we all want is simple: to be seen, to be valued, and to know we matter.

(All views are personal)

Cover Photo: Generated using Ai

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Nick’s Italian Kitchen, McLeodganj

July 1, 2025 Leave a comment

Google photo memory showed me a blast-from-past photo from Mcleodganj, and I thought I must write about my favourite breakfast place (and even dinner) from one of my most favourite places in this world. Over last 16-17 years, I have been to McLeodganj several times, and there’s never been a day while being there that I have not spent some quality time relishing food and enjoying the vibe at Nick’s Kitchen.

If you find yourself wandering the streets of McLeodganj, searching for a meal that feels like a warm hug after a trek, Nick’s Kitchen is where you want to be. With its blend of authentic Italian cuisine, a diverse vegetarian menu, and a serene ambiance that captures the essence of McLeodganj’s laid-back, multicultural vibe, being there is not just about the food, it’s a cultural experience! It isn’t just a place to eat – it’s a place to be.

Nick’s Kitchen is located at the Kunga Guest House on the Bhagsunag road. The restaurant features both indoor and outdoor seating, with its expansive rooftop terrace being a standout feature. The first time I went there more than a decade ago, it had few plastic tables and chairs outside, especially in early morning for coffee and breakfast under the sun. Now the terrace is partially covered with multiple seating arrangement, provides breathtaking views of the Dhauladhar valley and surrounding mountains. 

The simple interiors exude a cozy, homey charm with wooden furniture, book-lined shelves, and a relaxed atmosphere. The restaurant’s ability to blend Italian aesthetics with McLeodganj’s monastic, multicultural vibe creates a unique ambiance, which is calm, peaceful, and segmented. Whether you’re a backpacker exchanging stories or a family enjoying a meal together, Nick’s offers a setting that feels inclusive and inviting.

The vibe is relaxed and homely, with a quiet buzz of travellers reading, journaling, or just soaking in the peaceful ambiance. It’s the kind of place where time slows down and conversations linger.

Nick’s Kitchen has a delightful mix of Indian, Tibetan, and Continental dishes, but it’s their delicious comfort food that steals the show. The lasagna is rich, cheesy, and perfectly baked. Their momos (because you musthave momos in McLeodganj) are soft, flavourful, and come with a spicy chutney that wakes up your senses. Don’t leave without trying the banoffee pie, cheesecake or the chocolate walnut cake – they’re nothing short of soul food.

Service is laid-back and friendly, which fits perfectly with the ambiance. You’re not here for fast food; you’re here to unwind, to watch the clouds roll by, get mesmerised by the killer views of snow-capped peaks of Dhauladhar range and to connect either with fellow travellers or simply with yourself. Whether you’re a backpacker, a soul-searcher, a couple, or just someone craving good food with epic views and chill vibe, this little haven in the hills is a must-visit.

Cover Photo: If you take their terrace seating, this is the view you are going to be blessed with. Couple it with a cup of hot cappuccino, and you gonna attain nirvana!

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Measuring Entrepreneurial Attitude

June 23, 2025 Leave a comment

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In India’s rural economy, entrepreneurship has emerged not merely as a means of livelihood but as a powerful solution for social and economic transformation. While skills development programs like Skill India, Startup India, and Deen Dayal Upadhyaya Grameen Kaushalya Yojana, and numerous capacity-building workshops by NGOs have made significant progress in imparting entrepreneurial aptitude, the more elusive and often underappreciated dimension is entrepreneurial attitude. This inner compass and entrepreneurial mindset, shaped by motivation and initiative, resilience, risk-taking ability, adaptability, and opportunity identification, is what ultimately sustains a venture through uncertainty.

Entrepreneurial aptitude is teachable. It usually comprises financial literacy, business planning, marketing, and digital skills, domains that lend themselves well to structured training modules. However, attitude is behavioural, psychological, and deeply contextual, especially in rural environments where social, cultural, and economic factors deeply influence individual motivation and risk behaviour.

While technical institutions, NGOs, and government agencies have scaled up skilling programs in rural areas, the absence of reliable frameworks to assess entrepreneurial attitude results in misdirected investments, high dropout rates, or business failures post-startup.

I believe that the right attitude matters more in rural entrepreneurship, or even entrepreneurship in general. Rural entrepreneurship has its unique challenges, like limited access to finance and markets, lack of required infrastructure, socio-cultural constraints, especially for women, and low institutional support. Here, it is the right attitude of the aspiring entrepreneur, which is a mix of persistence, opportunity-seeking, and resourcefulness, that becomes the decisive factor between failure and success.

Current programs lack structured mechanisms to assess and nurture entrepreneurial attitude at the rural level, leading to inefficient selection of beneficiaries, poor resource utilization, and low sustainability of rural enterprises. Therefore, the critical question remains how we can measure the right entrepreneurial attitude in an aspiring entrepreneur at the rural level.

The challenge of evaluating attitude is not technical; it is conceptual. We must shift from a one-size-fits-all model to contextual diagnostics that honour rural reality. It is easy to dismiss a rural woman hesitant to speak in public as lacking “confidence.” But her daily navigation of caste norms, household labour, social conditioning, and budget constraints may reflect resilience and resourcefulness of the highest order.

What we must measure is not textbook confidence, but contextual courage. In my two decades of working with rural entrepreneurs in India, from tribal regions of the Northeastern states to drought-prone villages in Rajasthan, I’ve learned that talent is universal, but opportunity is not. Entrepreneurial attitude is not the privilege of the urban educated; it is often deeply embedded in rural lived experiences.

Our systems must develop culturally sensitive, grassroots-rooted, participatory frameworks to identify, not implant, an entrepreneurial attitude. Only then can we build truly inclusive ecosystems that tap into the latent power of rural changemakers. The future of rural entrepreneurship lies not in the replication of urban models but in recognizing and nurturing the indigenous spark. It is time we built tools that are beyond skills, to the spirit.

I am developing a framework and associated tools and metrics for measuring entrepreneurial attitude for inclusive rural enterprise development. I am calling it, “Rural Entrepreneurial Attitude Identification and Development (READ) Framework”. I will publish it as my next post.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not purport to reflect the views or opinions of any organization, foundation, CSR, non-profit or others.

The cover image is generated using Ai.

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Cracking the fundraising code

June 16, 2025 Leave a comment

Fundraising is the art and science of turning good intentions into actual impact! Throughout my career I have been raising funds for social impact, for causes of basic necessities like food, water, shelter, livelihood to a green economy, bridges over rivers to even a roller coaster in a developed country. I have been actively involved in raising funds for these causes from as small as $10 up to $50 million from a variety of sources and instruments. As the Head of Development at a nonprofit organization for social impact projects in India, I’ve navigated the corridors of CSR leaderships and foundation offices, and let me tell you, it’s not always smooth sailing. Often, it feels like trying to surf a tsunami with a paper boat!

Corporate Social Responsibility isn’t just a box to tick. It’s a strategic dance between business goals, stakeholder expectations, and social impact. With so many initiatives competing for attention, securing a dedicated slice of the CSR pie often feels like requesting a moment on a crowded stage, and convincing the audience that your act is worth their applause.

Foundations receive hundreds of pitches, each expecting to win the golden ticket. Getting noticed requires more than a well-crafted proposal; it demands storytelling that resonates and relationships that endure. Sometimes, it’s less about what you say and more about how you say it, and how quickly you can make a compelling case before the next shiny pitch distracts them.

Donors want results, but impact is often a marathon, not a sprint. Managing expectations without being over promising is an art. We’ve all faced the uncomfortable moment of explaining why a project’s full fruits may take years to ripen, a diplomatic tightrope walk that can test even the most seasoned fundraiser.

India’s complex regulatory landscape can feel like a labyrinth where one wrong turn can lead to delays or disapprovals. Keeping up with FCRA regulations, tax exemptions, and reporting requirements is a full-time job, and sometimes, it’s like speaking a different language altogether. Ironically, securing funds for a project often means fundraising itself. Resource constraints can limit outreach and follow-up, turning what should be a strategic focus into a haphazard firefight.

A mix of storytelling, patience, relationship-building, and a dash of humour helps. When engaging with CSR and foundations, understanding their priorities, aligning your mission with their vision, and communicating impact clearly can turn challenges into opportunities.

To my fellow fundraisers who are navigating this maze: keep your spirits high, your pitches sharper, and remember, every “no” is just a “yes” in disguise waiting to happen!

Let’s keep the conversation going. Share your stories or tips below, because in the game of social impact, we’re all in this together.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed are those of the author and do not purport to reflect the views or opinions of any organization, foundation, CSR, non-profit or others.

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Digital Bihar, Inclusive Growth

June 4, 2025 Leave a comment

Image generated using AI

Bihar has a rich historical and cultural heritage and is one of the most populous states in India, with a population exceeding 13 crores[i] and a predominantly rural population. The state faces several challenges in digital literacy, access to technology, digital inclusion, economic development, and equitable growth. However, recent initiatives in e-governance, education, and entrepreneurship hold much promise and potential for contributing towards India’s vision of a digitally empowered society.

Digital literacy remains a significant challenge, with rates below 30% (national average 38% for household digital literacy[ii]), as reported by Ideas for India[iii]. Bihar’s low digital literacy follows its socio-economic conditions, including high poverty rates[iv] (33.76% below the poverty line and 51.91% multidimensional poverty as of 2021) and limited access to digital devices. Rural areas, which hold 75% of the state’s population face challenges due to inadequate infrastructure and low literacy levels. The state’s overall literacy rate, as per 2017 data, stands at 70.9%[v], with rural areas at 69.5% and urban areas at 83.1%. Female literacy, at 60.5%, is significantly lower than male literacy at 79.7%, further complicating efforts to bridge the digital divide.

The digital divide in Bihar is a significant barrier to inclusive development. According to the India Inequality Report 2022 by Oxfam India[vi], Bihar has the lowest internet penetration among Indian states and a wide urban-rural digital divide, with only 31% of rural residents using the internet compared to 67% in urban areas. This rural-urban divide is further worsened by socio-economic disparities.

  • Internet Penetration: Bihar ranks among the states with the lowest internet penetration in India. The rural-urban divide is stark — while urban centers like Patna are better connected, most rural areas still suffer from slow or no internet access.
  • Device Access: Among the poorest 20% of households, only 2.7% have access to a computer, and 8.9% have internet facilities.
  • Gender Gap: Women are 15% less likely to own a mobile phone and 33% less likely to use mobile internet, with India having the widest gender gap in the Asia-Pacific at 40.4%. In many households, men have primary access to mobile devices and internet usage. Women, especially in conservative or low-income families, are often excluded from digital usage.
  • Electricity Issues: Frequent power cuts and unreliable electricity supply further hinder the consistent use of digital devices in rural areas.
  • Language Barriers: Most digital content is in English or Hindi, which becomes a constraint for people who speak regional dialects such as Bhojpuri, Maithili, or Magahi.

The digital divide affects important sectors like education, healthcare, and finance. For example, in 2017-18 only 9% of students enrolled had access to a computer with internet for education[vii]. Initiatives like BharatNet, aimed at providing rural connectivity, have been unable to deliver effective outcomes. Bihar is one of the focus states for the Digital India Programme, but execution lags due to infrastructural challenges.

In recent years, Bihar has made significant strides in leveraging digital services in improving governance and public service delivery. The National Informatics Center (NIC) Bihar State Centre, established in 1988, plays a central role in this transformation (https://bihar.nic.in/). It supports departments such as revenue, district administration, rural development, finance, agriculture, employment, election, social welfare, and food and civil supplies with IT solutions. The ServicePlus portal is a key platform, offering services like certificate issuance and case status checks, though rural access remains a hurdle, particularly for marginalized communities, requiring better infrastructure and awareness. These barriers require continued investment in training and infrastructure to ensure widespread digital literacy. Common Service Centres (CSCs) and Vasudha Kendra are crucial for providing government and private services to rural and remote areas in Bihar, enhancing digital inclusion and accessibility. However, they are not enough to cater to the growing needs of the rural population. People travel to block towns and larger villages, to access even basic G2C services, indicating the lack of any nearby facility.

For bridging the digital divide, a digital entrepreneurship program in 500 villages from five districts, viz., Darbhanga, Samastipur, Patna, Nalanda, and Gaya was launched in 2023. Bihar is witnessing a transformative wave of service accessibility led by women digital entrepreneurs. These trailblazing women are not only redefining the entrepreneurial landscape but also catalyzing inclusive development across the state. This initiative provides capacity building and mentoring in digital skills, customer service, entrepreneurship development, financial support and resources, and digital tools to women from socially and economically disadvantaged communities, helping them become successful rural digital entrepreneurs and build a Digital Entrepreneurship Ecosystem. This holistic approach equips them to offer essential digital services in their communities, such as facilitating access to government schemes, online education, and digital financial services. From being computer illiterate to providing a host of over 70+ digital services, these digital entrepreneurs have come a long way only within 9 months of their venture-start in their villages. Some of their services include a large suite of G2C services, design & printing services, online form filling, Banking services, and Mobile payments, among several others. They have also been cross-selling and diversified in selling non-digital products. In this short period, they have already served over 250,000 rural customers (around 40% female customers), and is expected that as their businesses mature, they will be providing digital services to over 7.5 lakh population. Apart from making digital services easily accessible at the village level, they are generating income and securing their futures, with some of them steadily earning upwards of INR25,000 monthly. This program is not only bridging the digital divide but also promoting economic security and social equity, local inclusive economic development, gender equality, awareness, and opening opportunities for skills development.

While government efforts are underway, a coordinated approach involving public-private partnerships, local community engagement, and targeted digital inclusion programs is essential. Programs like these need to be scaled up across the state covering the entire 8,387 Gram Panchayats for bridging the digital divide and contributing significantly to Bihar’s and India’s digital economy.

(All views are personal)

[i] Bihar caste survey conducted in 2023

[ii] https://www.ibef.org/blogs/m-governance-revolution-mobile-apps-empowering-indian-citizens

[iii] https://www.ideasforindia.in/topics/governance/the-digital-dream-upskilling-india-for-the-future.html

[iv] https://www.thehindu.com/news/national/bihar-has-most-poor-people-in-india-niti-aayog/article37698673.ece

[v] https://www.thehinducentre.com/resources/article30980071.ece/binary/KI_Education_75th_Final_compressed.pdf#page=68

[vi] https://www.oxfamindia.org/knowledgehub/workingpaper/india-inequality-report-2022-digital-divide

[vii] https://www.theindiaforum.in/forum/bihar-turns-its-back-school-education

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