The bark side of friendship

You know how people say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery? I used to believe that until my friend named his dog after me. I’m still not sure whether to feel honoured or insulted.

This isn’t just any dog. This is a fluffy, drooling tornado that eats sofa cushions and socks for breakfast. It once proudly presented a dead pigeon as a “gift”. And now, thanks to my dear lifelong friend, this creature shares my name.

Meet Manu.

Or rather, meet Dog-Manu.

I, the human Manu, now live in a world where people often mistake me for a top dog with boundary issues. It started innocently enough. One day, my friend called me and said, “Hey, I got a dog!” Sweet. Dogs are great. Then he added, “And I named him Manu!”

“After me?” I asked, thinking I might have misheard.  

“Yes! Because you’re loyal, funny, and always hungry. It just felt right.”

Right. Because who doesn’t want to be compared to a creature that thinks toilet water is a delicacy?

Even though my friend tried to placate me by saying that dog-manu has been named after his favourite football team, Manchester United (Man-U), it was just too fake for me to digest. 

To make things worse, every time I visit his house, it turns into a comedy of mistaken identity.

“Sit, Manu!”  

“I am sitting.”  

“No, not you. The one licking his nether regions.”

Oh. Good to know I’m the one who isn’t licking anything. Progress.

The other day, our mutual friend called me and exclaimed, “I saw a video of Manu on Instagram with a cube in his mouth!”  

I panicked. “What? When was this? Was I sleepwalking?”  

“No! The dog. Your namesake.”  

Of course. Because nothing screams “legacy” like being remembered as a four-legged menace with a vendetta against all household items.

I’ve also been getting some strange compliments.  

“Wow, Manu, you have such soft ears!”  

“Thanks, since childhood?”  

“Oh no, I meant the dog.”

Sure. Because I definitely needed another blow to my self-esteem.

There are some benefits, though. For example, now I know what it feels like to be loved unconditionally, vicariously, through a golden retriever. People light up when they hear my name, until they realize I don’t respond to belly rubs with tail wags.

But maybe the best part? Every time Dog-Manu gets in trouble for chewing a shoe or peeing on a rug, my friend yells, “MANU, NO!” and then looks at me apologetically, as if he just scolded me personally, which in a way, he has.

So if you’re wondering what it’s like to have your friend name a dog after you, I must say that it’s confusing, mildly humiliating, and an ultimate compliment in a weird way! 

After all, in dog years, I’ll be legendary for at least 87 more.

And let’s be honest, if someone had to be named after a stubborn, loyal, treat-obsessed creature who occasionally pees on rugs during thunderstorms, it might as well be me.

Long live Manu—the dog. And also me, I guess.

(Some episodes are dramatised to drive the message home)

(Cover Photo: Generated using AI, and it has come out well)